Did you ever have a moment where you are sitting opposite someone and having a conversation and then realised… “what the hell are they talking about?”. I’ve had this happen many times, where it feels like a conversation is continuing simply to continue. There was no purpose for the conversation, it was just a complete waste of time.
In our everyday lives we come across many people. Some we know, some we don’t know, and some we used to know.
Small Talk
Small talk is defined by urbandictionary as being ‘polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions’. It comes instinctively to people as they try to talk with someone they don’t know or someone they have not seen for a long while. Small talk allows for some of the initial awkwardness to dissipate making way for two people to socialise. However, that does not always happen. Small talk can lead to further awkwardness like forgetting the topic you’re talking about. Either because you weren’t concentrating on the conversation, or an inability to extend the conversation further. This has happened to me before, and I’m sure it’s the same for you.
Having a real conversation with someone is something to be appreciated for what it is. A deep conversation is where opposite sides discuss their points at length and at the end hopefully learn something. Understanding different points of view on a topic will generally solidify your knowledge.
For me personally, having a real conversation is enjoyable. I know that is not a word usually used to describe talking, but it is accurate for my purposes.
Celebrity Influence
Many people like talking about social events and other unimportant topics with passion. This always befuddled me, because I never understood the enjoyable aspects of these conversations. This is the basically “small talk” which means that in the modern era not many people engage in real conversations. Of course I am talking about people who are roughly my age (late 20’s) and younger.
The reason for this could be the declining levels of individuality I personally witness around me. Many people are influenced by celebrities and other friends into appearing or talking in a particular way. Certain fashion styles, for example hip-hop or goth, rise in popularity and influence as celebrities begin promoting them. Whether actively via adverts, or passively by engraining them into their daily lives, such things can be major influences on young people. This can, and will, change their personality significantly overtime, which consequently changes the way they behave and talk. Many people following celebrity trends insist that they are being ‘individualistic’, when in reality they are following a pack.
Effect of Social Media on Conversation
Texting has also affected our way of conversing. “lol”, “omg” and many other shortened words are quite useful when it comes to social media, or simply texting. However, I have observed people saying these things in real life. For example, saying ‘lol’ instead of actually laughing out loud. This, from what I observed, further declines the general level of conversation people have with each other. I couldn’t believe it when I came across this in real life. I couldn’t comprehend why someone would say “lol” instead of actually laughing!
The person in question could not hold a conversation for even a few minutes. They would either change the subject to something meaningless, or looking at their phone.
Of course, all of the above, my opinions on conversations and people in general, are subjective to my experiences. It might just be that I did not have coinciding interests with the people I observed, leading them to not engage in conversation.
If you don’t have this yet, I do implore that you look for people around you that you can have real conversations with. Conversations that have meaning behind them and can open your eyes to different ways of thinking.
This is how we can grow as people and expand our horizons.
